I talk with all kinds of people about what we do and the kids we work with, and I often hear something like, “Wow, it’s really great that they’ve been rescued…” While that statement is true, and perfectly well-meaning, there’s a problem with it. When you think about somebody being “rescued,” it’s tempting to also think that, now that the traumatic experience is over, the victim can live happily ever after.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
We now know that emotional trauma can do extensive and long-lasting physical damage. To give you some idea of what I mean, here are PET scans of the brains of two children, one of whom was a victim of extreme neglect as an infant:
The difference is dramatic, and it highlights how deeply damaging a traumatic experience can be – especially for a child.
While pointing this out might make me sound pretty pessimistic, I’m really not. Like a cut, or a burn, or even a broken bone, the wounds from emotional trauma can heal. They might leave some scars, but they can heal, and this is where Lost Voices comes in.
The Lost Voices musicians who work in our programs are trained to create a safe, nonjudgmental space where the kids are able to freely explore and express their feelings. While we’re working with them on their songs and poems, these wounded children receive genuine and unconditional respect from us, simply for sharing what they think and feel.
And then they receive that same respect when they perform their work in the final concert for their peers, teachers, staff, and therapists. This creates a profoundly healing experience.
To give you some idea what I’m talking about, and frankly to show you why I am so optimistic about the boys and girls we work with, here are the lyrics for a song written recently by a young woman in a Lost Voices workshop:
When life’s gone and it’s been wasted,
And my heart’s been desecrated;
When I close my eyes to see,
And I hold my breath to breathe,
Will I ever be
What you wanted out of me?
When all my dreams are faded,
And my mind’s redecorated,
When chaos is my peace,
And destruction defines me,
Then please can I be
Who you wanted out of me?
And I know, and I know,
And I know, and I know
And I know, just what you’re gonna say
It’s ok, hold your breath,
Only gets in my way
It’s fine with me,
If that’s the game that you wanna play
Just don’t be mad,
When all the rules have been rearranged.
When life’s gone and it’s been wasted,
And my heart’s been desecrated;
When I close my eyes to see,
And I hold my breath to breathe,
Will I ever be
What you wanted out of me?
To me, this song is both heartbreakingly sad and breathtakingly beautiful. This young woman is processing some incredibly deep pain, but she is also putting that anguish in a context where she can examine it, see it for what it really is, then begin the healing process.
So the next time you hear about someone “rescued” from a terrible situation, go ahead and celebrate, because it is truly a good thing. But you should also remember that in many ways, the struggle has just begun.
